Some wips are special and some are more special than others. I have been working on 'Princey' on and off for two years and today I have been trying to reach the 40k mark. Two chapters from typing the end. It's proving more difficult than I thought. I know what's going to happen and where and to whom and all those other important details but every time I go to write at it I baulk. Why so?
Perhaps because 'Princey' was the first story I started writing properly after writing nothing substantial for a decade. Perhaps because I've changed my mind so often about everything in it from the characters names, to scenes, to the characters motivation that I have lost my enthusiasm for the project. In other words I have over thought it.
I write chapters and think they are a load of rubbish. I walk away from the project for weeks on end and when I tentatively venture back to read what I wrote I surprise myself by liking the work done after all. I may be a little bi-polar when it comes to my writing. I am so attached to the piece now and it is weighing so heavily on my mind as the 'one' that it often scares me rigid and I think I'm wasting my time. The work I have published I wrote in five days without even considering whether it was good, bad or indifferent I just knew I liked it. I wish I could be relaxed about this like I was then.
I'm coming slowly to the realisation that the more you think while being creative the more you stifle that creativity. In order to be creative you must give up doubt, inhibition, procrastination and fear. You must be a vessel and the words must simple flow. You can mop up the spillage later but make a big puddle and an even bigger splash and just get the WORDS ON THE PAGE.
I have to finish it and finish it soon. I have embargoed myself from writing anything else until it is done. Which means I feel very guilty when my mind drifts off to thinking about Tariq the Sheikh......
No one ever said it was going to be easy. Writers must be mad to put themselves through this torture day in day out......I know, I know....the voices in our heads tell us we are not mad we are just telling their story ;p.